


Learning Dependancy

by LMXB



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2017-01-24
Packaged: 2018-09-19 17:21:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9452093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LMXB/pseuds/LMXB
Summary: Temporarily stranded Kara gives Alex some home truths in the hope that Alex can learn to fully let Maggie into her life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Supergirl or the characters.
> 
> A/N: Apart from the flashback this is set a couple of weeks after Supergirl Lives.

_**-Three weeks after Jeremiah's alleged death in a plane crash** _

"Where are you going Sweetie?" Eliza asked, the bags under her eyes obvious.

"Just to the beach. I want to watch the birds." Kara said clinging to a bear Alex had given her a few weeks earlier.

"Okay. Do you want to take a snack with you?" Eliza asked.

"No thank you." Kara said. "Tell Alex I said bye." She added before walking out the door. She then walked towards the beach before turning taking one last look at the house and heading towards the town. She walked and walked blaming herself for Jeremiah dying. Hating herself for bringing pain into Alex's life and despite all her powers not being able to remove it.

She had been sent to Earth to look after her cousin, only he didn't need her help. Instead he had placed her with his friends and now one of them was gone. So not only had she failed in her mother's mission, she had also hurt Kal.

She felt like she was one of the cursed characters from the horror movies that Alex loved, who brought nothing but pain and misery into the lives of those around them. She refused to ruin Alex and Eliza's lives anymore so she had decided to leave. She had no idea where to go or what to do, but she had seen documentaries of people living in solitude on islands. At least she thought they were documentaries, she still found it hard to tell the difference between fictional movies and factual movies. But she didn't care. She would go somewhere alone and no longer be a burden or a curse.

She had promised Jeremiah she wouldn't use her powers and she refused to break that pledge now. She may be a curse, but she was not a liar. So she walked and walked, clinging to her bear.

After what felt like hours she realised two things. Firstly, she was lost and secondly she was hungry. Realising she was failing in her simple task of running away she felt her anger and frustration build.

Feeling an inner rage she hurled her bear as far as she could watching him disappear into the distance. But as he flew she remembered why she had brought the bear with her, why it meant so much to her and how she didn't want to be without it causing her to scream. "Ted!" Before running after him. But as she felt her speed build she remembered her promise to Jeremiah and slowed to a walk. But as she walked and saw no sign of the bear she realised she was lost, hungry, alone and without her last connection to Alex. Feeling miserable she dropped to her knees and cried.

"Kara? Kara what's wrong?" A familiar voice asked.

"Alex?" Kara asked looking up from her damp knees.

"What's happened? Did the Turner boys bully you again?"

"No."

"Then why are you here?"

"To save you."

"From what?"

"Me. It's my fault." Kara sobbed louder.

"What is?" Alex asked confused.

"Everything. Jeremiah, Ted."

"What happened to dad is not your fault." Alex said trying to stay strong for her sister. "What happened to Ted?"

"I was so sad, so angry, I threw him and I lost him.

"Threw him where?" Alex asked.

"From there, to over here or there." Kara said pointing. "I can't find him."

"That's because you didn't have me looking." Alex said trying to smile. "So let's find him together okay?" She added holding out her hand to Kara who took it and stood.

"You want to talk about why you ran away?" Alex asked after they had been walking for a couple of minutes. When Kara shook her head Alex went on. "Running away is okay, but only if you come back in an hour." the comment seemed to make Kara cry more so Alex gave up talking and instead focused on the bear. Finally she saw the brown creature in the distance. Unfortunately it was on the train track and Alex could already feel the distant vibrations of a freight train.

"Stay here." Alex said as forcibly as she could. "I mean it Kara, do not move." With that she ran as fast as she could towards the tracks. She ran and ran, feeling the burning in her thighs. She knew she didn't have long so sprinted oblivious to her surroundings so when she tripped and went flying she wasn't really surprised. But as she lay front down in the dirt she looked up and saw Ted, tantalisingly close. Getting to her feet she ran again, her ankle throbbing, legs burning and lungs heaving. The pain suddenly making her feel alive again.

As she charged she started to hear the train approach, but still she ran. Her goal getting ever closer. As she reached the tracks she swooped down and picked up Ted before leaping over the tracks and landing in a painful heap as the train passed by.

Lying on the ground she rolled over and watched the seemingly endless carriages pass by until finally she could see through to Kara again. Slowly standing Alex made sure she had a firm hold on Ted before walking back over to her adoptive sister, trying to ignore the ever increasing pain in her ankle.

When she finally reached Kara she wasn't sure what she expected, maybe a thanks, maybe a smile. What she wasn't expecting was Kara's crying to worsen and almost become hysterical. For a moment Alex stood dumbfounded not knowing what to do. Hesitantly she held Ted out to Kara who violently shook her head.

"Why?" Alex asked, her temper beginning to fray.

"Because you….you near...ly died." Kara cried.

"Kara I'm fine." Alex said hugging the Kryptonian.

"Can't ...can't lo..lose you." Kara sobbed.

"I'm not going anywhere." Alex promised her. "Someone has to look after you." She added before noticing how dark it was getting and finally pulling away. "We need to get home or mom will kill me."

"No." Kara cried.

"Yes." Alex said. "And we get home we can't ever speak about why you were here. Mom couldn't cope with losing you now. Okay?"

Seeing how traumatised Kara was still looking Alex turned round and crouched down before her saying. "Hop on."

"Your ankle."

"It's fine. Hop on." Alex repeated. For a moment she didn't think Kara would do so, but then she suddenly felt her sister's weight on her back and she placed her arms under Kara's legs which were wrapped round Alex's waist before straightening and setting off for home.

As she walked she could only think of two things, the pain in her ankle and the sounds of Kara's cries. Knowing she couldn't do anything about the former she worked on Kara.

"Come on Kara, we'll be home soon. Then we can watch a movie. Maybe we can get mom to order pizza. Or we could do astronomy. We could go up on the roof. Then tomorrow we could go swimming. Maybe mom will make you chocolate pecan pie?" The final suggestion seemingly upsetting Kara more.

"I thought that was your favourite." Alex said confused.

"I don't deserve it." Kara sobbed. "My parents, my world, your father, all gone. But I live. It's not fair."

"Kara your parents wanted you to live." Alex said. "Dad wanted you to live. Mom wants you to live. I want you to live."

If Kara was comforted by Alex's words it didn't show as she kept crying. As Kara cried Alex couldn't help but think about all the crying that had happened in the house over the last few weeks. Her mom cried herself to sleep every night and so did Kara. Distant relatives who phoned to offer condolences would cry down the phone. Everyone cried. Everyone except Alex. She just felt numb. Up until she ran towards those train tacks and hour before she wondered if she would ever feel anything again. But now with Kara's sobs, punctuated with the throbbing from her ankle, Alex was starting to feel.

"Please Kara, stop crying. If you keep crying I'm going to start." Alex said, but once again her words had no effect. So she kept walking and with every step felt her own emotions build. She started to recall times with her father, moments that could never be repeated. She thought about all the things she would never be able to do with him again and she felt the first tear roll down her face.

By the time they could see the house Alex's body was trembling as she cried almost uncontrollably. The outpouring of emotion was enough to calm Kara who hugged Alex tighter.

_**-Present day** _

"Clear the area of civilians." J'onn shouted as the flying android flew towards a group in the park firing at them. Before it could cause damage Supergirl managed to block the path of the bullets and shield the scared people moments before a DEO team came and moved them to safety. She was so focused on protecting the people she didn't notice the android had turned it's attention else where until he heard J'onn shout out her sister's name. Turning Supergirl saw the android fly off at speed, gripping a body in his arms. Knowing it was her sister she flew off after it.

Concerned it was outpacing her Kara flew faster and started making up ground only for the android to find more speed. Concentrating she flew even faster knowing she needed a way to slow it down, but was struggling to come up with a method that wouldn't hurt her sister.

Suddenly, when they were over the dessert, the android suddenly started loosing speed. It also looked like it was struggling to maintain a straight line. It then dived down, picking up speed before flying low to the ground. Hoping it was running out of power Kara continued flying catching it with every passing second. But while she was still tens of feet away the android dropped Alex who landed feet first, badly rolling her ankle. Not noticing a significant change in her sister's heartbeat Supergirl kept pursuing the android, but without Alex in the way she used her heat vision on it. The tactic causing the android to stop and turn towards Supergirl before firing a beam weapon at her.

Quickly Kara stopped flying forward and just hovered opposite the android using her heat vision to counter the beam weapon. She had no idea how long they hovered firing at each other, but she felt herself get weaker with every passing second. Knowing she did not have much time left she focused as hard as could and saw her heat vision knock back the energy beam before cutting through the chest of the android which exploded. Before she could celebrate her victory, her drained body became depleted of powers and she fell to the ground. As she hit the dirt she held up her arm to shield her from the flying debris, but that was not enough to stop a couple of metal plates hitting her.

Getting to her feet she immediately looked for Alex and felt relieved when she saw her sister not only standing but limping towards her.

"You okay?" Alex asked as Supergirl rushed over to her. Instead of answering Supergirl gently kicked Alex's ankle causing the elder sister to yelp, swear and fall to the ground in pain.

"What the hell Kara?" Alex said her mood hitting rock bottom.

"Just testing if your ankle is sprained, which it is. So don't deny it."

"For the record kicking a sprained ankle makes it worse." Alex said mentally counting to ten.

"So does walking on in, which is what you were doing." Kara pointed out before helping Alex to her feet. She then turned her back to Alex and crouched down. Noticing Alex wasn't moving she said. "Hop on."

"Why?"

"You can't walk. I'll carry you."

"Why don't we fly?"

"I fancied a walk." Kara said. The tone and hesitation in her voice indicating something was wrong.

"Kara?" Alex said. "Why aren't we flying."

"May have blown out my powers." Kara said straightening and turning to face her sister. Revealing for the first time the right hand side of her face.

"May have?"

"Ok, have." Kara said. "But unlike you I'm fine."

"Is that a bruise?" Alex asked. "Your cheek is bleeding."

"It's not serious, I just got hit with some debris. I'm fine." Kara said as Alex went into doctor mode and scrutinised Kara's face. When Alex had finally satisfied herself the injuries weren't serious Kara said. "So seeing flying is out, I'll have to carry you back to the team."

"You don't have powers." Alex said.

"So? You're not that heavy. I can carry you. And by can, I mean will, as your ankle is screwed. If you want I can knock you out first?"

"I'll walk." Alex said.

"Alex you do so much for me. Carrying you is no big deal. For once let me help you." Kara pleaded, her puppy dog stare coming to the surface.

"Fine, but first sign you're struggling I walk." Alex said.

Smiling at her victory Kara turned round and crouched down before Alex sighed and hopped on her back. Content Alex wasn't going to fall Kara set off in the direction of the DEO team.

After a few minutes Alex said.

"Time to stop. You're struggling."

"I'm fine."

"You're sweating."

"It's hot."

"Kara."

"Do you remember that time just after Jeremiah died when I ran away?" Kara asked seemingly changing subjects.

"I do. You were so upset you threw the bear I gave you and it ended up on the train tracks a few hundred yards away."

"You found him for me and went to get him back. But then a train was coming and you ran so fast and tripped but you got up again and managed to get him before the train came. I was so scared you were going to die."

"But I didn't. I made it back over to you and you were still bawling your eye out. You wouldn't stop. Not even when I hugged you."

"You nearly died. For a bear." Kara said.

"I did it for you. I just wanted you to stop hurting." Alex explained. "Why did you run away?"

"I felt so scared and alone and I wasn't sure if I was still welcome."

"It was your home." Alex said.

"But I thought you and Eliza would blame me. That you'd feel if I hadn't come into your lives Jeremiah would still be alive."

"Why would we think that?"

"It was how I felt." Kara said causing Alex to tighten her grip on her. "But you didn't listen. Told me it would be okay then gave me a piggy back home even though you had badly sprained your ankle when you tripped."

"I didn't know what to do with you. But I knew mom would be panicking. Plus I would get the blame."

"You walked three miles on a sprained ankle. Not complaining about it once. I remember when we got home your ankle was the size of a melon."

"It's my job to look after you. To take care of you."

"And you always have. But today it is my turn to take care of you. Today you are going to have to depend on me for a change."

"I do depend on you."

"No you don't. You don't know how. Opening up and coming out scared you. Putting your heart on the line scared you. Depending on someone else terrifies you. That is why you don't do it and that is why you fought with Maggie."

"How do you know we fought?"

"Ignoring your scary mood all day? I may have overheard the tail end of the argument."

"Kara."

"I didn't mean to but J'onn told me to get you. But that's not the point." Kara said. "You are always the one people depend on. You refuse to depend on anyone other than yourself."

"It's not fair to depend on you. I am meant to look after you. Not the other way round." Alex said sadly.

"I know how much of a burden was put on you." Kara said. "And I know all too well how hard it is not being able to live up to expectations. And I know that you trust me. But I also know that because I am your little sister you will never allow yourself to depend on me. Not deep down. But there is no reason why you can't depend on other people. You could open up to Maggie, let her through those final walls and depend on her."

For awhile Alex didn't respond and Kara knew that her sister needed time to process. So she silently walked on, Alex on her back, each step making her miss her powers more and more.

"What happens when she goes?" Alex eventually asked, so quietly that without her super hearing Kara struggled to hear her.

"Goes where? Is Maggie leaving National City?" Kara asked.

"No. But she may."

"Does she have a job offer out of the city?" Kara questioned.

"Not that I know of."

"So why would she leave?" Kara asked, wanting to add that the only thing to cause Maggie to leave would be Alex driving her away, but thought better of it.

"People change, they grow, move on, move away, nothing lasts."

"Alex, you have changed, but you have always been there for me." Kara pointed out just as J'onn landed in front of them.

"What happened? Are you okay?" He asked clearly concerned.

"I blew out my powers and Alex sprained her ankle." Kara said.

-00-

"Hey." Kara said as she sat down next opposite Maggie.

"Kara. I'm not in the mood to talk." Maggie said before looking up from the drink and noticing the bruises on Kara's face. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Long story."

"Are you okay? I didn't think that you could get hurt."

"I can, especially when I don't have powers. But I'm fine, this will go in a day or so. Alex though isn't so good."

"What happened to Alex?" Maggie asked her anger towards her girlfriend momentarily disappearing.

"Kind of a longer story, but why I'm here."

"Is she hurt?"

"She is."

"How bad?"

"Physically, a sprained ankle, emotionally it is much worse."

"Kara, I know you want to help Alex, but this kinda isn't your business."

"It is if Alex is hurting, and it is if Alex is sabotaging herself. I'm not here to blame you or shout at you. I just want to talk."

"Fine." Maggie said.

"I've only known Alex since I was thirteen by which time she was already pretty grown up and really independent. After her family took me in Alex started to open up to me and trust me with some of her concerns and her feelings, but not all. I mean she never felt comfortable telling me she might be gay, which may be on me for hogging the conversation. But the part that was on her was she would never and has never really depended on me. The only person I have known Alex feel safe being a dependent of was Jeremiah and he died, well disappeared. After that there was so much pressure on her to look after me, maintain her grades, live up to Eliza and Jeremiah's expectations. She learned that to that she could only depend on herself. I don't know if she remembers how to depend, like really depend on someone else. What I do know is that she's scared. She's scared that if she depends on you it will be like she isn't living up to expectations. Like accepting help is a sign of weakness. She is scared that if she depends on you she'll become dependent on you and she doesn't know how she would cope if you left."

"Wait, why I am leaving?" Maggie asked.

"Because the only person she ever depended on left her." Kara explained. "She needs help and time. She needs you. She lights up when you're around. Please don't give up on her."

"I said some fairly bad things." Maggie said.

"You were angry and upset, Alex knows that. And a lot were true. Although I think a lot could have been applied to you too." Kara said. Seeing Maggie's confused frown she added. "You know, you and Alex are really similar. You both know how to protect, be it others or your own heart, but not how to be protected. You both need to work on that." She then gave Maggie a sad smile before saying. "If it's not to late for you she is at her apartment and she hasn't eaten all day."

-00-

When Alex heard a knock at her door she assumed it was Kara, but taking no chances she grabbed her side arm off the coffee table before limping to the door. Looking through the peep whole she saw Maggie and placed her gun chest next to the door. Taking a deep breath she reached for the handle and opened the front door.

"Hi."

"Hi." Maggie smiled. "I thought you might be hungry." She said waving a pizza box.

"Not actually had much of an appetite recently." Alex confessed stepping to one side and letting Maggie in.

"Me too. But I was hoping we could talk and maybe get hungry." Maggie said before asking. "How's the ankle?"

"How do you know?"

"Ignoring the big Aircast? Kara. She came to talk to me."

"She did? Why?" Alex asked getting worried.

"She thought I was being too hard on you and that I should go easy on you as you are emotionally stunted." Seeing Alex's expression she added. "She didn't phrase it quite like that." Seeing Alex still looked uncertain she moved the conversation back to safer ground and asked, whilst looking at the ankle. "So what exactly happened?"

"Picked up by a flying robot, flown for several miles out of the city and dropped in the dessert. Landed a little awkwardly." Alex listed.

"Beats my day. I was stuck doing paperwork." Maggie grinned, although the concern in her eyes shone through.

"I'm fine. Really." Alex said.

"The scrunched forehead tells a different story." Maggie said.

"I just….when I was out there Kara said some things."

"Some things?" Maggie asked.

"About me and the thing is I think she may have been right. But I don't know what to do. I mean I know what I need to do or maybe what I should do, but not how. Kara makes it all sound so easy, but it isn't. Not for me. I don't know where to start. I mean I didn't even know I was doing it, not deliberately. It was all subconscious. How do I switch that off." She then chanced a glance over to Maggie and said. "Sorry, I'm rambling."

"You're cute when you ramble." Maggie said reaching out and squeezing Alex's hand. "But the thing is, I get that you and Kara have an almost psychic bond. And I know if she was here she would get everything you just said. But you and me, we're not quite there yet so I'm going to need a little help deciphering what you just said."

"That could take a while."

"I've got time." Maggie said. "But I'm thinking you need to sit down. Even I know sprained ankles need to be elevated. So why don't we sit over there, eat pizza and whenever you're ready you start explaining." Nodding Alex limped to the couch followed by Maggie with the pizza.

Having made sure Alex was comfortable Maggie held the box out to her and watched as she took a slice and started eating. Sensing Alex shouldn't be rushed Maggie took her own slice and waited for Alex to talk.

"So I think I told you my life was all about being perfect." Alex finally spoke.

"Perfect grades, perfect job and the perfect sister." Maggie recalled.

"After my dad disappeared it became even more important. But I couldn't ask for help. Mom was a mess, Kara wasn't much better. And I mean what kind of a big sister would I have been if I leaned on Kara?"

"A human one?" Maggie suggested.

"I learned how to do things by myself." Alex said. "To start with there was no one to depend on and then as time went by I didn't trust anyone enough and then I figured out I just didn't need anyone. I could do everything I needed to do by myself. And then it just felt wrong to lean on people. And whenever I do it just seems really wrong. I mean I know I can always ask Kara and she would do anything for me. But it is my job to take care of her, not the other way round. She shouldn't have to help me." Alex then paused clearly struggling to keep her emotions in check causing Maggie to remind her.

"There are people in your life other than Kara."

"I know, but whenever I have opened myself up, leaned on them it doesn't end well. I mean my dad disappeared. J'onn had been lying to me for years, then he got arrested."

"And I humiliated you." Maggie said.

"No." Alex said but on seeing Maggie'e expression she added. "Yes. But I know that wasn't your intention."

"The funny thing is I did that to protect you as well as me. I knew I was falling and that scared me. But I also know how much baggage I have and I knew there was a chance my screw ups would hurt you." She then laughed and said. "Kara said something that actually sums us up. She said we both know how to protect, but not how to be protected. I think we are really going to have to work on that."

"Kind of hard when it is all you've known and it has worked well."

"From what you told me you nearly flunked out of grad school and you lied to your mom about your job. So the whole flying solo thing didn't really help you much with the perfect grades perfect job goals you had." Maggie said.

"I guess not." Alex said sounding like it was the first time she had considered that. After a pause she added. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess I just wanted to be the perfect girlfriend and not be a burden."

"Whilst I appreciate your motives I am fairly sure there is no such thing as a perfect anything." Maggie said. "But if there was a perfect girlfriend she would be trusting and accept help, be happy to lean on their partner.

"I don't not lean on you because I don't trust you."

"I know." Maggie said.

"I think I have forgotten how to depend on someone."

"You're speaking to a control freak so I hear what you're saying." Maggie said. "No one expects you to change over night. But since Kara ended up on that slavers' moon it just feels like you are building up walls. You look for any excuse not to accept help. You are working non-stop as if you are afraid to delegate. No one is asking you not to look after Kara or any of your friends, but you could try accepting a little help, maybe even ask for help. Do that often enough and you may even feel comfortable depending on someone, maybe even me."

"I want to, it's just hard." Alex said looking fragile.

"I know. But I'm here to help you through it okay?" When Alex nodded she added, whilst brushing a stray hair from Alex's face. "And I get that I may not be the most patient or tactful person, as I proved last night, but I'm working on it."

"So what do we do?"

"You need to decide what you want." Maggie said. "If you want this to go somewhere you have to trust me and want to depend on me. If you want that we'll work through our personality quirks together. One day at a time. And if we screw up I'm fairly sure your sister will tell us." The last comment from Maggie earning a small smile from Alex. "But you need time to think so I'm going to go."

"Don't. Please." Alex said taking hold of Maggie's hand. "I know what I want. I want you." She added before she pulled Maggie in for a kiss.

"You sure?" Maggie asked finally breaking the kiss.

"I'm sure. I just need your help to get where I need to be."

"You always have my help." Maggie smiled before kissing Alex again.

_**-The End** _


End file.
